Information about separation anxiety disorder often focuses on children and adolescents, as it is frequently diagnosed in young people. Though separation anxiety in adults doesn’t usually get the same level of attention, many people over the age of 18 also struggle with this condition.
Understanding Separation Anxiety
Separation anxiety is a mental health condition that is characterized by excessive and inappropriate fear, worry, or dread when away from a certain person (who is referred to as the attachment figure). It is one of 11 anxiety disorders in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).
To be accurately diagnosed with separation anxiety disorder, a person must meet at least three of the following criteria:
- Recurrent extreme distress during or (or in anticipation of) a separation from their home or their attachment figure
- Persistent elevated worry that they will lose a major attachment figure, or the attachment figure will be harmed by causes such as illnesses, injuries, a natural disaster, or death
- Continued excessive fear that they will get lost, be kidnapped, become seriously ill, or have another experience that will cause them to be separated from their attachment figure
- Refusing to go to school or work – or even leave the house – due to their fear of separation from their attachment figure
- Reluctance or refusal to be left alone or separated from their attachment figure at home or in other settings
- Refusal or inability to go to sleep if their attachment figure is not present or nearby
- Frequently having separation-related nightmares involving the attachment figure
- Experiencing headaches, stomach aches, nausea, and other physical symptoms when they are separated from the attachment figure, or when they believe that a separation may be imminent
Separation anxiety disorder is typically diagnosed in children and adolescents. In these cases, the attachment figure is usually a parent, though it can sometimes be a sibling or other relative.
A child or adolescent who has this condition may exhibit symptoms such as:
- Being unwilling to go to school, run errands, attend sleepovers at friends’ houses, or go to summer camp
- Experiencing severe emotional distress when forced to take part in these types of activities without their attachment figure
- Frequently crawling into bed with their parents with claims that they have been having nightmares or simply can’t fall asleep
- Excessive clinginess, such as “shadowing,” or following the attachment figure from one room to the next
- Being afraid of the dark, “monsters under their bed,” or other scenarios that they association with increased risk of separation from their attachment figure
Separation Anxiety in Adults
Studies suggest that separation anxiety disorder is the most common type of anxiety among children and teens, but its impact is not limited to young people. Researchers have also found that about 6.6% of adults also have this condition, with the majority of these cases involving symptoms that did not begin to appear until after age 18.
Common Symptoms
Adults with separation anxiety disorder may display signs such as:
- Reluctance or refusal to travel for work or stay alone in a hotel room
- Texting or calling loved ones excessively, and being consumed with worry if they don’t answer or respond promptly
- Catastrophizing, or assuming the worst possible outcomes, when separated from loved ones due to work, school, or other commitments
- Acting in a highly overprotective and overbearing manner as a parent due to fear of something terrible happening to their child
- Being needy, clingy, and/or controlling in the context of marriage or other romantic partnerships
- Frequent expressions of jealousy toward their spouse or partner, as well as a recurring need to be reassured
Causes & Risk Factors
There is no single cause of separation anxiety in adults. Instead, experts have identified several factors that can increase a person’s risk of developing this condition, such as:
- Certain genetic variations and inheritable personality traits
- Being raised by overprotective, intrusive, or neglectful parents
- Enduring abuse, assault, or other adverse childhood experiences (ACEs)
- Having other mental health concerns, including generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic disorder, depression, or posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Living through various traumatic or particularly stressful events, such as divorce, separation, or the death of a parent or child
Effects & Consequences
Untreated separation anxiety disorder in adults can have a profound negative impact in many parts of their life, including:
- Problems at work which can include being passed over for promotions or fired due to attachment-related behaviors and refusals
- Failing to take advantage of opportunities to expand their knowledge, increase their skills, and progress in their career
- Difficulty establishing a productive and satisfying independent lifestyle
- Conflicts with partners, children, other family members, and friends due to clingy or controlling behaviors
- Development or worsening of co-occurring mental or behavioral health concerns
- Undermining their children’s social and emotional development by preventing them from forming healthy peer relationships, participating in youth sports, attending field trips, or taking part in other school-related activities
Tips for Managing Separation Anxiety in Adults
For adults with separation anxiety, effective care often involves a combination of medication, therapy, and self-care education.
Medication
No medications have been developed specifically to treat separation anxiety disorder, but patients often benefit from prescription meds such as:
- Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) such as fluoxetine (Prozac) and paroxetine (Paxil)
- Benzodiazepines such as alprazolam (Xanax) and lorazepam (Ativan)
Psychotherapy
Therapies that can be helpful for an adults with separation anxiety disorder include:
- Individual, group, and family therapy
- Couples counseling
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
- Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)
- Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)
- Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy
Self-Care
One of the many benefits of therapy for separation anxiety disorder is that it can help adults develop more effective strategies for managing stress and coping with difficult emotions.
For example, lifestyle changes such as following a nutritious diet plan, exercising on a regular basis, and getting an appropriate amount of sleep can improve a person’s resilience.
Other practices that can be helpful include:
- Establishing healthy routines
- Developing a personal support network
- Yoga, mindfulness, and meditation
- Deep-breathing exercises
- Muscle relaxation exercises
- Journaling
- Positive affirmations
- Guided imagery
There’s no single perfect type of treatment or approach for managing the symptoms of separation anxiety in adults. What’s most important is working with a trusted professional who can assess the full scope of your needs and identify the medications, therapies, and self-care techniques that are best for you.
Find Treatment for Co-Occurring Separation Anxiety in the San Francisco Bay Area.
Live Oaks Wellness offers personalized residential care for adults who have been struggling with addictions, separation anxiety, and other co-occurring mental health concerns.
Our treatment center near San Francisco, CA, is a safe and highly supportive environment where you can work in close collaboration with a team of skilled and compassionate professionals. With our help and a concerted effort on your part, you can make sustained progress toward improved health and a more hopeful future.
To learn more or to schedule a free consultation, please visit our Admissions page or call us today.
